As soon as I got to the OR I knew something wasn't quite right. At first I chalked it up to nerves. My hands were shaking, I was really cold, my vision was blurry, and I was incredibly sleepy. It's a miracle I said something, but it's a good thing I did because my blood pressure had dropped drastically. I didn't know until I picked up my medical records to send to the company paying me during maternity leave that it was 70s/30s. Scary! But they gave me oxygen and I felt better.
Next Paul came in and sat beside my head and the doctor got started. And it hurt! A lot. But Paul was holding my hand and stroking my hair and telling me how much he loved me and my boy was on the way so I was able to squeeze Paul's hand and work through the pain.
I left my room at 8 PM and Xander was born at 8:16 PM. I had this image in my head of him coming into this world kicking and screaming and the doctor holding him up over the curtain, but that didn't happen. When he came out he wasn't breathing well. He was placed on oxygen for 5 minutes and We could only see him from across the room. We kept asking if he was ok and it took a good three minutes before the anesthesiologist said he was fine. Soon the pediatrician ce running up with the baby, let me take a quick look at him, and then rushed out of the room with Paul on his heels. No, that wasn't terrifying at all.
So now the baby has been rushed out of the room after being given oxygen and Paul is gone too. And while I was in pain before, now, without anything to squeeze or hold onto, the pain is excruciating. I could feel everything and it was terrible. They boosted up my epidural twice before it became apparent that it was helping, so they put me under entirely. The last thing I remember before waking up in recovery was someone saying, "she's going to need general."
When I woke up they pretty much immediately took me to my room. As they were wheeling me up the hall I saw my doctor and apologized for screaming at her. Luckily, she was pretty great about it and said, "you didn't scream at me. You might have screamed, but it wasn't at me." Everyone was waiting for me outside the nursery, which was a little overwhelming, and that's when I got my first good look at Xander's beautiful little face. If I had it to do again it would have just been me and Paul and everyone else could come in when I got to my room so that I could just concentrate on Paul and the baby in that moment.
So it turns out his initial Apgar was 4 and it increased to 7 at the 5 minute mark and now he's just perfect. Thanks to a UTI at 5 weeks we found out he has vesicouretal reflux, but it's likely going to be easily treated and we were told its nothing to worry about.
So that's the story of how my beautiful, squirmy, cuddly, grinning little boy cme into our lives. It wasn't how I planned, but it was how it was supposed to happen.