Things I Don't Like

1.  Adele's Music.
I don't have anything against Adele as a person, but I really can't stand her music.  It puts me to sleep, it's depressing, and it makes me change the radio every. single. time. she comes on.  Her lyrics may be okay, but I can't deal with the music behind it long enough to listen to the lyrics.  And I don't feel compelled to look them up.  And when other people quote them on Facebook all the freaking time, I'm not inspired or moved at all.  I understand that you probably love her, and that's fine, but I do not.  And I'm not going to. 

2.  People Who Back Into Parking Spaces
Okay, in general, it's not so bad.  I get that it's worth it to them to spend more time backing into a space than it would take to back out.  That's fine.  But it's not fine when they're doing it at 6:58 in the morning in the parking garage and holding up everyone behind them.  That's rude.  I make the effort to get up and leave my house in time to get to work on time.  And then I'm thwarted by you and your massive SUV that you can barely control.  You're making me late for work and I don't appreciate it.

3.  Inconsiderate Drive-Thru Users
You know how some fast food places have the double drive-thru, where you order at two different speakers but you have to merge into one line to actually pay and get your food?  Well I'm a believer in taking turns and not skipping in line.  I payed attention in preschool like that.  So when I place my order and then 30 seconds later you pull into the neighboring speaker and place your order, it would only make sense for me to pay and get my food first, right?  Apparently not.  The other day the food and payment windows got backed up so the speakers got backed up.  I placed my order and 30 seconds later some woman pulls up beside me.  When the payment and food windows finally cleared up, she sped in front of me.  She knew I was there first.  That was rude, ma'am! 

4.  Amaretto
It's gross.  A friend of mine who was also a waiter used to be convinced that I loved Amaretto sours.  So no matter what I would actually order, he would always bring me an Amaretto sour.  Gross.  Gross.

5.  I Can't Put My Hair in a Proper Ponytail Right Now
I love my hair when it's down, but sometimes you just want to throw your hair up and not deal with it.  But I can't do that without clips or a headband.  It makes gym time a little inconvenient.

6.  Pears
What's with that grainy texture? 

Big Girl Rant

I'm not small.  And I haven't been since I was about 4.  I didn't like shopping in the Juniors section of the store when I was a little girl and I didn't like shopping in the Women's section when I was a "Junior."  Over the years I came to terms with the fact that I was not meant to shop at Abercrombie & Fitch or Hollister.  And I was perfectly okay with that.  Much to my mother's chagrine, I was also not meant to shop at Lane Bryant.  Do you realize how humiliating it is to shop at Lane Bryant when you're 15?  I hope not. 

I do the bulk of my shopping at Old Navy and Target because they carry my size and I like their clothing.  I also really like the clothing at The Limited and Ann Taylor Loft, but, with the exception of a couple sweaters that I've found over the years, their clothing either doesn't come in my size or my size  is only available online.  I can't buy clothes without trying them on because I never know how certain brands or items will fit on my body.  I think it comes with the territory of being plus size.   Some people think that Lane Bryant is a plus size substitute for those stores, but it's definitely not.   Not at 15 and not at 25. 

A few months ago I found out that The Limited had plans to expand to accomodate plus size ladies.  I was ecstatic!  I assumed that they would expand their current sizes and that I could treat myself every now and then or destroy their clearance section.  But what they are actually doing is creating a new line called eloquii.  They haven't released the line yet, but I can only assume that the items that are available at The Limited will not be available in the eloquii line. This is what the website says,

"eloquii celebrates your love of fashion with styles that look fabulous and fit your curves. This is women's clothing, designed for you and inspired by you.  Our online store will feature a range of fashion apparel and accessories for plus-size women such as dresses, suits, outerwear, pants, tops, shirts and accessories." 

I really can't stand that.  It's like they're saying that plus size women are the only women who have curves on their body.  And "women's clothing, designed for you and inspired by you?"  It's like saying that the only thing that makes me, me, is the fact that I'm plus size, fat, chubby, zaftig, obese...whatever.  I'm calling bullshit on eloquii.  eloquii was not created so we poor, fashion-deprived, fat ladies would have more selection when it comes to shopping for over priced business-casual-wear.  eloquii was created so that The Limited could make money off of us without actually allowing us to wear their brand. And notice how it said that those items would be available in their online store?  Great, now we dont even have to clutter up their stores with our big butts, thunder thighs and sausage arms! 

Poor form, The Limited, poor form.

DIY: No Sew Infinity Scarf

I'm not sure if I've mentioned it before, but I cannot sew.  At all.  I mean, I sewed a button on a dress the other day and it was crooked.  I didn't even know it was possible to make a button crooked.  But it totally is.  I digress.  The point is, I can't sew (and I've never succeeded at knitting or crocheting, either) so I assumed that nearly all fabric-based crafts were out of my reach.  Folks, I. Was. Wrong.

I was on Pinterest the other day (of course) when I saw a tutorial for a no sew infinity scarf from My World Made By Hand.  Since it was no sew I figured I could do it and since I'm on a scarf kick I wanted to get a new one anyway.  So today while I was running errands I picked up a tshirt because that's all you need!

What You'll Need

Men's tshirt.  The bigger the shirt, the more scarf you'll have to work with.  I used XXL Fruit of the Loom, 100% Cotton. 

Scissors

What You'll Do

1.  Lay the tshirt flat and cut straight across the bottom, removing the seam. 

2.  Cut straight across, under the sleeves.  Here's a really awful picture of this step.

3.  You'll end up with a band of sorts.  Stretch and stretch and stretch and stretch it some more. 

4.  Enjoy!

I was really pleased with how my first non-decor craft turned out.  I'm not the best fabric cutter but it didn't matter because the cut edges curl up and you can't see the cuts.  I can't wait to make more in tons of colors!

Today I Found It, the Rainbow Connection

A few months ago I was clicking around on Pinterest and stumbling across nail polish inspired by the Muppets.  I thought to myself, "hmm, fun concept,"  moved on with my life, and didn't think about it again.  Until today.  I was catching up on some blogs and was reminded of the line.  I decided to google it and fell in love with, among others, The Rainbow Connection.

http://blog.beautycollection.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/OPI-Muppets-Nail-Polish-Collection_-Pictures-Photo-1-5-263x300.jpg

Is it not amazing?!  But then I thought, "Yeah, it looks good in the bottle, but how would it look on my hands?"  And then I saw this:

http://www.swatchandlearn.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/OPI-Rainbow-Connection-Nail-Polish-Swatches.jpg

I'm not really a big nail person but I knew that it had to be mine.  But I was prepared to find it in stores.  So you can imagine my surprise when one minute I was stairing at the pretty colors and sparkles and the next I was adding it to my cart, confirming my shipping information and changing the available balance in my check book. When it comes in I'm going to treat myself to a pedicure and maybe even a manicure.  But probably just the pedicure. Because I'm cheap.  And because I usually ruin a manicure before I'm out the door.

I encourage you to check out all the other colors in the collection. I'm also partial to Gettin' Miss Piggy With It.  Do you have any favorites?

Edit:  I just noticed on my order confirmation that I ordered, "Opi Holliday 2011 Muppets Collection Rainbow Conection."  Part of me is afraid that someone is mixing together glue and glitter in their basement right now and that is what will be delivered to me.  I hope I'm not right.

October Showers Bring November Babies

Beth, my BFF/R4L (that's roomie for life, if you don't know) is prego and I threw her a shower last Saturday to celebrate her and baby Jude.  In attendance were our college buddies, Beth's husband, Kyle, Beth's mom and Maw and my Mama.

This was the first real event that I've hosted since Paul and I moved into the house and I was putting crazy pressure on myself to deliver a good time to my guests.  Hopefully I succeeded!

 I was really excited that I got to use some of the cake stands and drink dispensers from the wedding.  I was also excited that those veggie and dip cups stacked, because that table it t-tiny.  We had hummus and triscuits, cheese cubes, fall-colored snack mix, veggie and dip cups, ham and cheese sammies, cucumber sandwiches, nuts and owl cupcakes.  To drink there was water and punch dyed blue with duckies floating on top. 

 The owls were made with oreos and junior mints for the eyes and candy corn for the nose. Jude's nursery is filled with wide-eyed forest creatures so I thought the owls were fitting.

I'm really not a huge fan of "traditional" baby shower games.  I didn't want anyone to have to eat baby food, guess the size of Beth's stomach or look at melted chocolate bars in diapers.  And that You-Can't-Say-Baby game?  I don't think I hate anything more.  As an alternative, we decorated onesies with bubble paint and markers.  The best part is that the onesies act as a decoration for the rest of the shower!  Here are just a few of the ones we created. 

All the amazing ladies from RC who were in attendance.

Baby Jude is due to arrive the day after Thanksgiving and I can't wait to meet him.  If anyone was ever born to be a mommy, it's Beth, and I know she and Kyle are going to be amazing parents.

By the way, feel free to follow Beth's pregnancy journey at A Life Less Ordinary.

Fighting Crime

Yesterday was, in a word, exhausting.  I cooked, I cleaned, I baked, I decorated, I mulched and I laundered.  Then around 7 o'clock Paul and I took a break to eat dinner and go on the Ghost Tour that we bought tickets for last week.  The ghost tour was a lot of fun and I strongly recommend that anyone in the Roanoke area  try to catch it .  It's going on every Saturday until the end of the month.  But that's not what this post is about.  This post is about fighting crime.

After the ghost tour we went by Walmart so that I could pick up last minute supplies for the baby shower I hosted today.  While we were wandering the aisles, Paul, who used to work in loss ,  prevention and can spot a shoplifter a mile away said, "That guy's stealing that coat."  Sure enough, a man had just taken a coat off a hanger, put it on, and walked away.  A few seconds later we saw him walking toward us and he was tugging at the sleeve, trying to rip out the tags.  We were both angry that he was trying to steal the coat but couldn't really do anything about it. 

A few minutes later, we went to check out and I saw, "Hey, it's that guy."  He was standing a few lines over with a woman and a baby and he was still wearing the coat.  So I commenced glaring in his general direction using my judging eyes.  Then Paul did the same.  And all of a sudden, he turned around walked toward the back of the store.  When he returned he wasn't wearing the coat.  And I'm pretty sure it was because of my judging stare. 

Mason Jar Soap Dispenser

When Paul and I got married I married really simple table center pieces out of wide mouth mason jars and fresh cut flowers.  Not only was it an inexpensive, cute way to decorate at the time, but I ended up with 12 mason jars to do with what I want.  When I first joined pinterest I pinned a mason jar soap dispenser and kind of forgot about it, but since I had A LOT to do today and aimed to procrastinate as much as possible, I decided that today was the day I would make my own mason jar soap dispenser. 

When I put the drill together, for some reason I couldn't get it to work.  But as I was trying to coordinate all the parts of the drill, Paul walked in and saved the day!  And that's for the best, because according to Paul, if I'd have tried to use the bit that I put into the drill I would have destroyed it. 

Mason Jar Soap Dispenser

What You'll Need

Mason jar with lid and ring

Drill with the proper bits

Hammer

Flathead screwdriver

Soap bottle pump

Soap

What You'll Do

1.  Using the drill make a hole in the center of the lid.

2.  Using the hammer and screwdriver, hammer at the sides of the hole until it's big enough for your pump to fit.  We drilled and hammered with the lid on the jar.

3.  Put the pump in the hole.  I thought I would need to use epoxy to secure the pump to the lid, but it was a pretty snug fit.

4.  Fill your jar with soap and then put the lid back on.



How did I forget to take an up close picture of the finished product and not realize it until just now?  Oh well, you get the idea.

Some tutorial suggest that you put scrapbook paper or fabric on the lid so that it's prettier, but I think some of the charm of this project is how it still looks like a mason jar when all is said and done.

I used a quart size jar.  At first I tried to take the pump out of the dial soap that was already on the counter, but it was too short.   Then I remembered that I had a bottle of soap from Bath and Body Works that I hadn't used yet.  Since it was taller than the Dial, it was the perfect length for the jar. 

I'm planning on making another one for the kitchen because I really love how this one turned out.

Flavor of the Week: Cookies and Cream Chex

Source

I've stumbled upon the world's most glorious snack, y'all!  This morning a coworker was telling me that she saw Cookies and Cream Chex Mix at Sheetz and that she wanted to go try it.  I had never heard of it and googled it.  What I found was the following description:  "Delicious sweet coated corn chex with real chocolate cookie crumbs."  So I obviously agreed to take a trip with her to Sheetz where we picked it up to try for ourselves. 

It was amazing!  It tasted just like people puppy chow but was crunchier, I suppose because of the little oreo pieces that are scattered around in there.  I suggest you pick up a bag for yourself as soon as humanly possible.

Nananananananananananananananana Bat Wreath!

I finally tackled the Halloween yarn wreath that I posted about a few weeks ago. 

I was home sick yesterday because my throat felt about the size of a tennis ball and, after reading for class, moving picture frames around and clipping coupons, I started wrapping yarn like no body's business.  Here's what I came up with.

I'm not going to lie, I wasn't a huge fan of the wreath form I used this time.  Michael's was out of the kind that I used for my argyle wreath and this one was a little more rough. It was more difficult to correct spacing issues with this type so up close, the final product doesn't look as finished as I'd have liked.  Overall I'm happy though.

Bat Yarn Wreath

What You Need

Wreath Form

Gray Yarn

Scissors

Yellow Felt

Black Felt

Bat Jack-o-Lantern Stencil

Googley Eyes

Hot Glue Gun

Grosgrain Ribbon

What You Do

1.  Tie the string around the wreath and then wrap it around the wreath until it is completely covered.  It's going to take a while. Tie the end of the yarn to the leftover string from the knot you tied when you started.

2.  Cut a circle out of the yellow felt to make a moon.  I used the lid of an oatmeal canister as a stencil.

3.  Using the Jack-o-Lantern stencil as a model, cut the bat out of the black felt.  I traced the bat from the computer onto a piece of notebook paper and then laid the paper on the felt.  Then I cut out the paper bat and felt bat at the same time.

4.  Glue googley eyes on the bat.

5.  Glue the moon onto the back of the wreath, just to the left of center.

6.  Glue the bat onto the bottom of the wreath, to the right of center.

7.  Loop a ribbon around the wreath and glue the ends together.  I glued the top of one end to the bottom of the other so it was flat.